you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
