Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
