I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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