They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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