Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
no more duck duck goose at the bar
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
