Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
hell yes lets make some ravioli
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
