Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
and she was petting her beer can
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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