This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Your penis caused this!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
