I must be too annoying 4 u.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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