you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
