Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
