does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
