haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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