D3 body, D1 cock
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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