next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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