I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
