Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
