Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
