Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
we should paint friendship bongs
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
