Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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