Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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