i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I love you. Go after that dick
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
