Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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