He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
