If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
