Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
