Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
