I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh god it's open bar.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
