I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
