"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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