Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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