Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
