Screwed.edu
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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