did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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