Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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