She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
