After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
