Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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