god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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