This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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