No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
