Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
