Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
