I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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