my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Blood and glitter go together right?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
