What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
