Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
