i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
