He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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