Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
