is your mom at the bar?
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I smell like Dick and happiness
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
