Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
